Moving day from Typepad has completed and it’s over now. Except for DNS propagation and SSL cert autoupdates. Both of which are like air travel; you have no control, so sit back and assume you’ll get to your destination eventually.
When The Going Was Good by Graydon Carter
I finished reading Graydon Carter’s memoir “When The Going Was Good” last weekend. Committed to getting the most value out of the least amount of personal effort, he succeeded. Carter’s lazy ambition is impressive. I couldn’t guess to how many hours of the week he spent eating at some work related event. The man’s social battery appears endless.
The book, true to its title, recounts the magazine industry’s fall from influence and subscribers. Tech’s peak: TikTok boasts of free workplace wine. In publishing before the 2008 crash, it was how many months a writer may need to spend living at the Beverly Hills Hotel to cover a courtroom case.
Regardless, the title “When the Going Was Good” reflects some current tech industry sentiment. If AI holds even a quarter of the promise hyped, a lot of executive types in tech will pack a cardboard box the way executive types in glossy publications had to. Having destroyed so many industries, AI will speed up tech's self-cannibalization.
Until Dawn
Horror movies done well are cheap to make, pack in viewers and make much more money than they cost. The good ones leave an impression. Neither "Death of a Unicorn" nor "Drop" left enough of an impression for me to write a review but Until Dawn is different because it doesn't try to adapt the source material. It does its utmost to ignore as much of the source material as possible.
The Monkey
This movie is a surreal and absurd look at death. Deaths so terrible that sometimes you can only laugh. It doesn’t make you uncomfortable, nor does it look to hit you with jump scares. It’s a typical cursed MacGuffin movie that knows its to be laughed at no matter how high the body count gets.
Yes, the clock work driven, drum playing, malevolent looking toy monkey of the title is evil. But the monkey itself is a means. The main character gets bullied in school by a gang of girls. Girl cruelty is different to boy cruelty, but here they are cruel in a way that boys are to one another. He’s hurt and wants to hurt the source of his school problems. The monkey doesn’t make the main character turn the key in its back. It makes sure it is around when he might consider turning the key. Whatever happens after the key turns and the drumming starts, happens.
The deaths, when they occur, are bizarre, sometimes nonsensical, and often hilarious. There’s unexpected and expected torrents of blood. Immolation. Explosions. Decapitation. There’s even a death in a sleeping bag that doesn’t involve the hockey masked killer, Jason Vorhees. Which is a change because sleeping bag murders are a Friday the 13th thing.
This is a 90 minute dark comedy that falls apart in the third act but ends strong. For those wanting a slasher movie that speaks to their inner teenager, last week’s release, Heart Eyes, might be a good choice. For your fill of ludicrous death scenes, there’s a new Final Destination on the way. But if you want to laugh at death and have death laugh with you, go see The Monkey.
The Gorge
Two charismatic leads can carry a lot. Anya Taylor-Joy and Miles Teller are two charismatic leads and the burden they carry is the flimsy story of this movie.
There is a mist filled gorge somewhere where two concrete observation towers face each other from opposing sides. Opposed geographically and politically. Each tower has a top tier shooter responsible for maintenance of the automated defences preventing what is in the gorge from escaping. These lethal maintenance people are not to have any contact with each other.
The Last Dangerous Visions. Edited By Harlan Ellison.
By the time I had read Harlan Ellison’s work, his talent had deserted him. A lifelong career isn’t guaranteed, but watching one’s career fade must be a terrifying, waking nightmare. The Last Dangerous Visions, the irrevocable part of a once ground breaking trilogy of short story collections, explains why the talent evaporated and for those 60 pages it’s worth the read.
In this book, I found two interesting pieces under glass in a museum of the mediocre. Short story anthologies are like that, but "Dangerous Visions" was a career making anthology for emerging writers. It was such a success its sequel, “Again, Dangerous Visions”, had established authors knocking on the door to get their story in. This third book has none of the cachet of the first two and, as Straczynski points out, some people he reached out to did not want their work included.
Wolf Man
Vampires one week, werewolves the next. Unlike the highly cinematic Nosferatu, Wolf Man is merely a good-looking streaming movie. It could be psychological scarring from Covid, but monstrosity because of disease has taken root in the mind of horror writers.
In fiction, lycanthropy has been everything from a pact with the devil to a supernatural curse, but here we return to the idea of it as an illness. This is a movie where the werewolf is neither calculating nor 8 feet tall on two legs with a great coat of computer generated hair. Here instead it is rabid, deformed and has lost comprehension of humanity.
Nosferatu
There’s a silver undertone to this movie that reminds me of vintage black & white film stock. But then everything about this movie is looking to remind you of something vintage. Once again, a couple opposes a personification of evil. A misshapen, diseased creature of catastrophic power.
Of the other times I’ve seen Nosferatu told on screen, this couple is the best looking. Genetic super lottery winners, who I’m sure have real people's problems, but the only problem we are concerned about here is the murderous Count Orlok. The copyright holders had control of Dracula when the original Nosferatu was made. So here we have a Count Dracula knockoff called Count Orlok, with Jonathan called Thomas and Mina called Ellen.
The Godfather Part II (4K UHD)
If you want to tell a good story about a man, show him fail. He can recover but there needs to be a journey into darkness. Part II of the Godfather trilogy is Michael Corleone’s journey into darkness.
By the end of the movie he’s lost his wife, his mother, the trust of his adopted brother and his last brother by blood. His enemies are dead by their own hand or by his. But Michael has failed. He destroyed his family.
Secret Level: Episodes 1 to 8.
While lacking a 6’ tall sword wielding heroine in boob armour riding on a flying reptile, Secret Level still gives off Heavy Metal movie vibes.
This is a character driven show that has to hook you fast. Some episodes are less than 15 minutes long. Stories with famous actors get a bit more time, but you’ll know if you’re in or out in the first three minutes.
The quality of the anthology stories in the first 8 episodes ranges from “this is a series pitch” to “this is a cut scene” to “could you give us another 90 minutes of this story, please?” When it’s good, it’s great, when it’s poor, it’s CGI filler. The fresh take on Pac-Man pleasantly surprised me. I wouldn’t have thought of the story that way, but the writer did.
Like a Dragon: Yakuza. Episodes 1 to 3
Are “honourable criminals” lying to themselves? Is servitude worse than death? Less a criminal drama and more a criminal soap opera Prime Video’s Yakuza has thoughts on these questions.
Focusing on four orphans, two male and two female, on the cusp of leaving their orphanage the four protagonists here walk themselves into a nightmare of a heist gone awry. Gangsters who come looking for stolen money don’t shut up. The assassins who will kill them at their leader’s whim don’t talk. And the one who makes the room go silent when he speaks is now speaking to them. What’s it going to be, kids? Death or servitude to the Yakuza? You can have a bullet now, or you can work yourself to death at manual labour or in the sex trade.
Megalopolis
I commend Francis Ford Coppola for taking an idea he wanted to do for 40 years, putting his money into it and bringing it to the screen. But this is an experimental movie overstuffed with his fancies which does not resonate with an audience. He brought it to life through his will, but he is the intended audience. It may not matter to him if no one else watches it.
Joker: Folie à Deux
This doesn't work as a musical or a villain movie but it held my attention for most of its running time. The massive flaw in the production is that it's not supposed to be this horrific a musical.
The wasted life is a goldmine for an operatic performance. That's what Arthur Fleck's (Joaquin Phoenix) life is. A grinding misery that gets more miserable in increments. Every day the sun rises life takes a razor blade to Arthur's soul and shaves off another thin slice. But then there is love, and music, and comedy and tragedy. Or there would be if this was a better written movie. This is where it all falls apart. The love isn't love. It's someone who wants you to be your worst self. The musical numbers neither fit into what's happening nor propel the story forward. They're well lit karoeke numbers. Nothing here is funny. Even when we step into Arthur's inner life, where he should be everything no one else sees, he remains as unfunny to the viewer as he is when shuffling along Arkham's halls.
Your actor won an Oscar for an interesting take on a tired comic book villain. The hit movie you made had nonsense ideas about wounded men and their fragile egos projected onto it. You think to yourself "we don't want to encourage this." So you, correctly, say this broken man can't kill six people and expect to prosper.
But does it have to be so shallow? I'd have read this script and sent the writers off to watch Pagliacci. Several times. And if an opera about a tragic figure in deep emotional pain who swings from manic clowning humour to powerful murderous rages in a gritty setting can't improve the script? They've failed.
This should have been a musical about a tragedy. It's just a tragic musical. A big movie that's too oppressive to be anything but small.
The Substance
The Substance
About 25 minutes into The Substance we're introduced to Sue. A younger version of Demi Moore's network television fitness goddess. It's a writhing in pain, blood-stained introduction. I sat there in the dark and thought to myself, "The third act is going to be wild." It was. Because this is a movie of ludicrous escalation.
Sue (Margaret Qualley) is so refreshing she's the condensation on the Coca-Cola can. Her firm buttocks enter the shot several times before she does. Her breasts defy gravity. Everything is tight. But she has the arrogance and appetites of youth. While this movie is positioned as a feminist body horror it is a movie about a parasitic system.
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
A female-centric movie for the Wednesday Addams audience, this film is overstuffed and unfocused. The team seem afraid of never getting another shot at this. So, they crammed as many plot ideas as they could into the running time. Some of it works. Some of it doesn’t.
The Deetz women are not having an easy time of it. Lydia (Ryder) has grown from a flourishing teenage goth girl into a timid celebrity medium. Seeing ghosts is not a gift. Beetlejuice has been tormenting her from the periphery of her vision for decades. Lydia is an unusual protagonist for a movie like this. There is no expectation that her life will get better here. It did in the first movie, but now we find a woman weighed down not by a problem but by the disappointments in her life.
Terminator Zero
Terminator Zero Few sci-fi franchises are as limited as The Terminator. It’s not like it has anything novel to say about AI or humanity's hubris. Humans unknowingly reach the pinnacle of their culture and creativity. They are then sent back to scrambling in the dirt for survival after that culture and creativity burns in nuclear fire. This is in every Terminator movie and this anime series.
The wrinkle the producers of this show introduce is the rhetorical appeal to another artificial life form to act on humanity’s behalf against Skynet. Malcolm Lee, its creator, makes poor arguments for human survival. Again hubris. If we were looking to enlist an artificial champion we would hope our most talented minds would engage with it to build our case. But no, here we have the heartbroken computer scientist who can’t muster enthusiasm for his own children. This is the man who thinks he can use philosophy and rhetoric to prevent the AI he has built from agreeing with the army of red-eyed metal skeleton killers on the way.
The Rings of Power: Season 2, Episodes 1 to 3
Is it better than season 1? Yes. Will it bring back the audience it lost after its meandering first season? No. The superchat farmers on YouTube say nothing has changed. But there are improvements. The issue is that this show’s story arc is set and has to build on the dull foundation of season 1. You are into it or you are not.
Any adaptation is not going to be the source material. For Lord of the Rings, the best adaptations borrowed from earlier ones. Accept that and watch the show as a piece of entertainment and you’ll have a better time. The show looks more expensive. The budget remains unchanged, but the production designer excels this time. The cinematography is more refined. More shots this season are spectacular, like in the later episodes of season 1.
Mount Doom’s eruption has shaken the continent of Middle Earth. Adar, the Orcs, and the humans that have sworn fealty to Mordor do not take the news of Sauron’s emergence well. With the Dark Lord's threat of subjugation, uneasy alliances form to stop him. I like Damrod the hill troll. He’s stupidly expensive CGI to create but he has this swagger of a long time shit kicker. Annoyed, he has to come down from the hills to deal with another problem.
Three episodes in and Galadriel no longer has the personality of splinter covered plank of wood. She has lost. She is unsure if Sauron influences her. She needs Elrond's reassurance that, despite ignoring his advice, she is still doing the right thing. Okay, Galadriel not listening to anyone and doing what she thinks is best isn’t that much of a change from season 1 but it seems like there’s character development to be had here.
Sauron’s character development is a move towards open manipulation. His problems are more interesting this season. Every other character is working against him. Sauron has no willing allies. He has no resources beyond his wits and the power he can muster. Even when the audience may think he’s having second thoughts about doing something terrible, he’s not. You, the viewer, are being manipulated like everyone else.
By episode three, everyone else is back. We also get some new characters to replace those who left. Yet, I found the story-line with the Stranger and the Harfoots uninspiring. The Stranger's story is a mystery box; those are lazy writing. The grey wizard was intriguing because he had knowledge others lacked. Now, he knows less than we do, making him unnecessary. I expect him to become Gandalf by season's end. But waiting two seasons for that is poor plotting. Bottom line, I liked the first three episodes and will finish out the season.
The Crow. (2024)
This movie is cinematic depression. Not that it makes the viewer feel hopeless, worthless and low in energy. But what the audience watches is a hopeless, worthless and low energy movie.
Putting aside Brandon Lee's ability to stir..feelings..in generations of teenage Goth girls who have discovered the 1994 movie every week since it came out, The Crow as a media property has a simple formula. It is a tale of vengeance, redemption and the supernatural told in a style that drips with atmosphere.
Alien Romulus
I liked it. This is a well-made popcorn horror movie. It is not interested in big ideas. It's about tension. Alien was a movie about skilled labour in a claustrophobic jump scare-filled small space with a monster. Aliens brings in corporatism, adds a larger space and more monsters. Prometheus is about the elite, their ideas and what it means to not be one of them in David's case. Set between Alien and Aliens, Alien Romulus is about the working poor and their life that is already horrific.
Borderlands
It isn't that this movie is terrible, it's that it gets boring. The Borderlands series is darkly irreverent. It's gory in a visceral "ewwwhhh" and laugh way. It's funny in a "well this will hurt" way. The movie has none of that. It's Borderlands with the life rung out of it.
Yes it has the colourful character design, eater eggs and the 1080p CGI makes Pandora look like the dusty trash pile it is. But just as the CGI falls apart if you look at it in 4K the characters and nods to games are shallow too.